November 2009

FALL FOR YOU

You're almost too late already.

I love you so, so much, and I think you know that, but here's why you're difficult. And really, it's like TOTALLY NOT YOUR FAULT, let me be clear. But, well, let me just get right to the point: you don't think about yourself between December 15 and January 5, and that's kind of when you do the most damage to your fragile little metabolism. Don't even TRY to tell me that you're not spiking your blood sugar at the cookie exchange, or getting all dehydrated with the wine and the champagne and the scotch that your sister-in-law got you for Christmas. And where should I even begin with the late nights and the cigars? (Yes, I knew about that cigar. My god, I could smell it on you from a mile away!) Anyway, your holiday excesses are not the point.

My point is that you always hypothetically consider joining Firm Fit before December 15, and then you totally forget about it for three weeks. Then about two seconds before the January Firm Fit starts, you remember too late that you wanted to join. And then the session is all filled up. And then you're saddled for another two months, rather literally, with all those pounds of fudge, all those little cups of eggnog, all those delightful, tender Krumkake, and so on and so on and so on...

So this year, will you please make a commitment to your health BEFORE your schedule gets out of control? Actually, call Neil right now. 612-810-4052. If you commit before December 25, 2009, special holiday pricing applies.

* And if you don't know what to get someone for the holidays, this is a perfect gift. Bosses: get a Firm Fit package for everybody in the office and they can carpool. Husbands, get His and Her Firm Fits for both of you. (Yes, you have to get packages for both of you, lest you risk seeming like you think your beloved NEEDS Firm Fit. Trust me on this. You want this to come off as a "togetherness" thing, not a "big butt" thing.)

Our New Fall Hours Are...

It is finally fall, when children go back to school, schedules settle into a reliable pattern and everyone moves indoors to work out. So, we'll stay open a little later, and you'll all get a little hotter, as the temperatures get cooler.

Mondays - Thursdays     5:30 AM to 10:00 PM
Fridays                               5:30 AM to 8:00 PM
Saturdays                          7:00 AM to 6:00 PM
Sundays                            8:00 AM to 6:00 PM

"New Fall Schedule - TBD"

I received a note from the Editor-in-Chief to write a piece on "New Fall Schedule - TBD," but that sounds a lot more UN-determined than it really is. There are some subtle schedule changes and some big, huge changes, such as a new Spin instructor in training for an added spin class.

ADDED: Friday, 6:15 PM Spin with dreamboat Corey Isaak, this one I thought was super secret. But I guess we want to actually promote it and stuff! Shows you how much I know about marketing. Starts November 6.

ALSO ADDED: Sunday, 3PM Spin, now that we're open later on Sundays. This one is already in full effect. Woot!

And the Monday, 10:30 AM KB30 is going away. If you want a Kettle Bell workout from the best in the biz, you may schedule it directly with Samy 818-631-4754.

So you see, the Fall Schedule is not To Be Determined, it HAS Been Determined. Think about that for a minute.

What does dreamboat Corey Isaak have in common with Scatman Crothers?

Dreamboat Corey Isaak was born on September 2, which is the same day that Bob Denver died, only in 2005. Super sad! And here is an hilarious clip of the Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan's Island!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqJxz5EM2kc

What does any of this have to do with Corey Isaak teaching spin? That's a silly question when you could be asking the following... How did the Globetrotters get on the Island? Where did all that television transmission equipment come from? Is that Scatman Crothers?

I could blather on about Dreamboat Corey Isaak's credentials... He has been teaching Spin at Pedal for over a year, and is learning all the ins and outs, ups and downs and backs and forths of the Stott method of Pilates. Anyway, this is the most important thing: Dreamboat Corey Isaak will be teaching Spin on Friday nights at 6:15 PM, starting November 6th.

O Member, Where Art Thou?

Do you know how many times we call the phone number that we have on file for you, and it's an old phone number? A lot. Or that we send you these funny emails, but they bounce back, unreceived, unread, unrequited? It just breaks our little hearts. Next time you're at the front desk, check in with our account executives (front desk staff) and see that we've correctly got your current phone number, street address and email address.

Let's avoid Workout Outbreak Heartbreak

We all love to crack a crude joke around here. I’ll cop to that. But poop jokes really lose their punch when the people you know and love start squealing like piggies and getting funny butts and barfing and the like from contracting H1N1 or Norovirus, or other creepy-crawlies. Please do yourself and your neighbors a favor by washing your hands often, using the disinfecting gym wipes and dosing on hand sanitizer while you're in the house. And please, please, PLEASE be considerate of your fellow exercisers by skipping your workout if you've got symptoms of the flu. We’d like to get back to the bathroom humor without having it hit too close to home.

And now Ladies and Gentlemen a few words from Todd Stebleton!

If you haven’t had the ALCAT done, you’re falling behind.

It has been known for centuries that food can be our medicine, or it can be our problem. What seems nourishing to one person may indeed cause inflammation, an over-activated immune system, decreased metabolism, headaches, and a long list of other problematic and irritating symptoms to another.

Although most food allergies are noticeable, most food sensitivities, or intolerances, are not. So if you’re struggling to optimize weight, remain healthy and vibrant, or just feel good – an ALCAT food sensitivity test may be right for you. Check out this list of options to get tested. Some of the most common foods include gluten and dairy. You can even check for different pharmaceutical agents, as well as molds and more!

“For ten years, I’ve used the ALCAT test in my practice – no other test is as useful.” Fred Prescatore, M.D., M.P.H.

Sign up for any ALCAT test before the end of the year, and save 20%! Plus, have a complimentary session with licensed CCN Todd Stebelton to review your results – a $100 gift to you.

Click here more info

When they told me that Todd was going to write about nutrition, I had no idea he was going to steal my fire so completely. I didn’t realize that sometimes people write stuff with real information that could be useful. Maybe if I cracked a book once in a while instead of only watching VH1 on my cable television I could contribute an intelligent article to the Firm newsletter, too. (Awww…. Who are we kidding? Don’t worry kids, I will ALWAYS provide you with the literary equivalent of a bag of Lays potato chips with a warm can of Sierra Mist on the side.)

Also, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that when Todd says, “Speak to your nutritionist, blah blah blah…” he forgets, or is too modest, to suggest that you should talk to him. That’s right, Todd Stebleton is not just a great article-writer, y’all. Todd Stebleton is someone you can make a real grownup nutrition consultation appointment with. Todd Stebleton will talk to you about Free-Range Chicken and organic Almond butter. I, given the chance, would talk to you about hot dogs and bourbon. Call Kelly if you’d like to set up an appointment: 612-747-9340

(Please do not call Kelly for an appointment to talk with me about hot dogs and bourbon. Oh my god.)

Smells like New Equipment

Oh, I like me that new gym equipment smell! Sniff it for yourself...

...in the gym. We have two new treadmills. Smells like interval training! Or a smooth warmup!
...in the loft. We have a new Pilates Reformer (you may sniff this by appointment only).

YOGA DATES with total HOTTIES

When is N.E.R.D. going to get with the times and write a song about checking out / picking up girls in Yoga class?

Kat Carroll, oh snap!
Our beloved Kat, who has since moved to warmer pastures (that's Mexico. Haaaaaate her!) will be teaching the 11 AM Yoga classes on the Saturday and Sunday after Thanksgiving, November 28 and 29.

Laura Robertson, hellz yeah!
Spinning and front desk superstar Laura will be teaching a yoga class at 4 PM on Sunday December 11. Then we'll really get cooking with a regularly scheduled weekly class starting Sunday, January 3rd.

New retail

Just in time for the holidays we've got tons of new retail, and all of the designers are local

Uffdaawear: made by former FIRM Pilates instructor Tasha Fisher
Foat Design: super gorgeous yoga dancewear and legwarmers and stuff

Made in the Shade.

Made in the Shade, which was held at Lake Calhoun on September 26, is a non-competitive event which raises funds for non-profit agencies serving people with disabilities. First, folks registered and gathered pledges. Then, after a brisk warm up led by Firm instructor Kristin Regnier, participants walked, rode on bikes, wheeled in wheelchairs, or snoozed in strollers for the event at Thomas Beach on Lake Calhoun. Kristin reported that it was a huge success, and we're really happy that The FIRM could be involved with this great organization.

Kick Asana 108 Sun Salutations

Okay, I have to confess that I didn't go to the big Kick Asana 108 Sun Salutations event, so I had to ask one of the yoga-obsessed participants about it. It's not like I don't like yoga, I LOVE it. But the Sun Salutations are the part that I wish we'd hurry through so we can get to the interesting stuff. So I sort of thought that only doing Sun Salutations the whole time would be difficult for me.

Well, it sounds like I was very wrong.

When I spoke with first-hand accountant / FIRM Spin instructor / Yoga enthusiast Laura Robertson, who salutes the sun daily, rain or shine, it went like this...

First she got all dreamy and squinty, and her demeanor changed from her normal rascally self to her trippy philosophical self. Then she paused to collect her thoughts and said, "You know those toys with the clear liquid and the blue liquid that you tip back and forth and it simulates waves, and they're really relaxing and mesmerizing? ...After a while it was like that."

And I was like, "Aaaaah..." Next year I'll go for sure.

Don’t panic, it’s organic!

So, we also noticed that the new batch of towels were a little scratchier and not as white. And we asked Doug what the H was up, and he was like, "Lighten up, Crazytrain, you’re going to give yourself shaken baby syndrome. These new towels are made with more natural fibers, and the fibers aren't bleached out as much.” It's not totally organic, so we aren't going to freak out bragging, but it's, like, MORE organic. And it was good enough for us.